In all quiet moments
It’s still an irony of how much I love the company of people yet adore the quietness of being alone; it’s probably the stillness that I crave in comparison of the energy that a group setting gives off.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should run away and hide in some obscure place and cut connections off with everyone who loves you dearly, but more so, embrace the stillness of what alone time can do for you. I don’t know about you, least for me, I tend to think clearer and listen to my own voice when I’m alone – especially during the times where those thoughts are as messy as it can get. Some nice music, blank pages and a pen is all I need for thoughts to flow freely.
When I’m alone, I also tend to notice my surroundings even more, for example, what hue of colours is the sky today, spotting dainty nice flowers by the roadside, the smell of the fresh rain dew or even maybe notice someone who’s in need.
I like being alone as I do not need to report nor hold accountable to anyone, seems like time passes slower which makes me savour every minute of it.
I am who I am
Growing up or old isn’t that scary after all, it’s the responsibilities that scares the hell out of me! Turning 34 is no big deal, but surviving it thus far calls for a celebration (YAAS?!), I often wonder if without God’s grace, I think I wouldn’t even be able to type this out.
This hasn’t been the easiest 34th birthday, exactly a week before my birthday (15th March 2018), Mom was scheduled for a major operation, and it made me fearful in every single thought, often in doubts what’s next for us? What my life would be like without her companion, what would celebration be like without her and how would my life change if it’s without her?
That totally freaked me out, but it made me appreciate her companionship even more. So never take love ones for granted, never!
What am I made of
With each day, I discover new things about myself and what makes my heart skip; family, friends, music, and food no less. I hope I don’t loose that love and passion for things as I gather my thoughts on what has passed me by.
As I also spend time figuring out what’s happening in my life and what to do with my life (a constant struggle), I know for sure, 2018 is yet another beginning for me. Back to school and it’s on an express train which has no turning back.
Thoughts of rekindling the love for blogging, not for bragging but to be mindful of what’s happening in my life, also a form to take charge of what I allow to be in my life. So here’s a declaration of a good start…